By Don Wilde
TODAY IN HISTORY
On this day in 1997 in England, Diane Blood won the right to use her dead husband’s sperm, proving once again the truth of the old adage, “Gone, but not forgotten.”
AN ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING FACT.
Hugh Hefner prepares for bedroom activities by coating himself in baby oil.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“If she loses any more weight, she’ll be only a voice.”
(Phyllis Diller, upon hearing that Audrey Hepburn was dieting.)
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OPENING CEREMONY: Our weekly meeting was officially opened at 12:21 PM by Ernie Pacchiana, substituting for our tardy President. Mr. Pacchiana, himself, led us in an
inspiring Salute to Our Flag. Sy Yuter came next with a rollicking version of “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee,” and Father Lee brought things to a climax with an appeal to The
Almighty for mercy and a quick end to the present financial crisis.
OUR CLUB PRESIDENT’S REMARKS: President Fulfree introduced our guests (Elinor Yuter is no longer a guest; she is now an authentic Rotarian), and observed that we do not have a need any more volunteers for our Rotary’s visit to the Children’s Wing of Phelps Hospital. He instructed those who have volunteered to gather in the hospital’s parking lot
at 11:30 on the day of the visit.
ANNOUNCEMENTS, OBSERVATIONS AND HAPPY THOUGHTS President Fulfree then called for Happy Thoughts. Sy congratulated his wife, Elinor, on her joining the Club, and all members applauded enthusiastically in appreciation. Zen Eidel rose to suggest, in light of the economic downturn, that we have Depressing Thoughts. Mr. Eidel was roundly booed.
NEXT WEEK’S SPEAKER: Our “Evening Valentine Day’s Party” HAS BEEN CANCELLED! Sy Yuter is scurrying around, unearthing a speaker for our regular meeting next Friday. If he is unsuccessful, he will book a talented Beluga whale, who will entertain us by blowing bubble-rings in the shape of Paul Rosen.
TODAY’S SPEAKER: Our speaker today was Judy Foster, Executive Director of “Friends of Karen,” who spoke to us about the mission of her worthy organization.
She opened her talk by noting that “Friends of Karen” and Rotary shared the same philosophy: “Service Above Self.”
As proof, Mrs. Foster pointed out that “Friends of Karen” provides a much needed service to despairing mothers and fathers: Helping children with life-threatening illnesses and, of course, their families.
“Friends of Karen” helps by providing Financial Assistance, taking care of medical expenses not covered by insurance. “Friends” provides transportation, to and from treatment, including parking, in-hospital TV, telephone and meals. “Friends” takes care of household expenses, if there is a loss of income. “Friends” provides childcare for siblings, when parents must be with an ill child. (Siblings often feel ‘left out’ so their needs are addressed, as well.) And, alas, “Friends” helps with funeral planning and expenses, if the very worst happens.
“Friends of Karen” started thirty 30 years by helping with one child. Today, the organization provides aid to more than 500 children a year and to their desperate families, with assistance of every kind (see above).
“Friends of Karen” exists only in this area. Unfortunately, there are no organizations providing similar and needed services throughout the country.
“Friends of Karen” relies on individuals, corporations, foundations and government support to contribute needed dollars, in-kind gifts and volunteer time, and to maintain services to children and families in need.
It is not an understatement to say that Mrs. Foster was both eloquent and heart-breaking in her talk.
May the blessings of heaven be upon her, and upon all people who do good work.
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THE DRAWING: The winner of the first drawing was the fetching Antonia Conti; the second lucky winner was our own Ernie Pacchiana, who is fetching, spiritually.
A heartbroken Bishop John, vacationing in Barbados, learning that he had lost again, burst into tears and was consoled only with the help of a very dry martini.
CLOSING CEREMONY: This week’s meeting drew to a close precisely at 1:29 PM. The occasion was marked by Mark Seiden’s volunteering to be shot out of a cannon, while holding hands with a midget.
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Submitted by
Recording Secretary, Don Wilde
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